雅思小作文拿5分还是7分的关键其实在这里！

显而易见5分级别和7分级别的小作文不会只有一个不同点，不过在所有区别中没有什么比我今天要解释的这个更重要。我已经在小作文检查清单中涉及到这点，不过我今天想更加全面地向你们说明。

Link：A类雅思小作文

Link：G类雅思小作文

很多考生在作文里会直接用题目数据表或图表里所提供的词语，而且错误地表达那些词语所代表的意思。

（本文最好的使用效果是边读边尝试自己写我里面举的例子。所以你不妨先收藏或者点个在看，再回过头来认真试一下。）

• 第一个例子就是我在小作文检查清单所提供的：

在描述比较意大利和德国那两个国家吸烟率的数据表时，很多人会写类似：“Italy increased in 2009”（意大利在2009年增加)或“Germany decreased in 2010”（德国在2010年减少)。那样写不对，不是那两个国家在增加或减少，而是那两个国家吸烟的人数！学生应该写的是类似：“The number of people who smoked in Italy increased in 2009（2009年意大利的吸烟人数有所增加)”和“The number of smokers in Germany decreased in 2010(2010年德国的吸烟人数有所下降)”

• 下面第二个例子的难度稍微高一点：

如我所说，在描述这样的折线图和其他类似的要描述数据的雅思小作文时，考生得把题目里所提供的词语换成正常的英语。题目的数据表里所包含的英语单词通常都是不应该直接在作文里用到的简称。就像在中文虽然大家可以用“北上广”代表北京、上海、广州三个城市，但没有人会说：“我昨天从广飞到上”一样，我们通常不应该在写英语时用到这些简称。看一下，大概5分级别的学生会写类似这样的错误句子：

• Farming, fishing and foresting was the biggest USA labour force employment in 1930.

• Technical increased a lot in USA after 1990.

• Sales and office had a steady increase.

在以上那三句话，题目里的英语都没有被变成正常，语法正确的英语。我们先分析一下标题：USA Labour Force Employment。注意，那个USA会导致很多考生犯错误。因为这就是一个标题，美国就可以那样写。问题是：在作文里USA前面需要一个“the”。绝大部分级别低的学生不会加那个“the”。

• 英国-the UK；

• 菲律宾- the Philippines；

• 马尔代夫- the Maldives；

• 中东- the Middle East；

• 太平洋一类的海洋- the Pacific Ocean；

• 红海一类的大海 – the Red Sea等地方都需要一个“the”。

在题目标题里通常会省略它们的“the”，而级别高的学生会记得在写作时用到它。在上面这个题目，正确表达Labour Force Employment的方式包括：

the percentage of people employed in / the percentage of people working in / the number of people employed in / the number of Americans working in。

描述那5个类别的行业则更复杂一些。Farming, fishing and foresting 那三个词都可以做名词，也可以做动词或形容词。因此正确用来表达从事这类工作的人的表述包括:

people engaged in farming, fishing and forestry / those working in the farming, fishing and forestry industries / people who did farming, fishing or forestry for a living / farmers, fishermen and foresters

Sales and office 这两个词通常是名词。不过在这里，因为是指做这些工作的人，它们可以作为形容词。因此正确地在作文里描述这个类别的说法包括：people who worked in sales and office jobs / office and sales workers / people engaged in office work or sales

Industrial & Technical很明显都是形容词。它们在这个题目里的意思是: industrial jobs / industrial work & technical jobs /technical work。在作文里它们应该这样被使用：

people who did industrial/technical jobs / people engaged in industrial/technical work / workers in industrial/technical fields / industrial/technical workers

Other services就是名词，因此可以这样写：people who worked in ‘other services’ / those who worked in jobs in the category of ‘other services’ / workers engaged in ‘other services’

如果5分和9分级别的学生同时回答这个课题，通常写出来的区别就会像下面这样：

5分：Farming, fishing and foresting was the biggest USA labour force employment in 1930.

9分： In 1930 more people in the USA worked in farming, fishing and forestry than in any of the other given categories of jobs.

5分：Technical increased a lot in USA after 1990.

9分：The percentage of workers who did technical jobs increased a lot after 1990.

5分：Sales and office had a steady increase.

9分：The percentage of people who worked in sales and office jobs had a steady increase.

• 看一下我们的第三个例子的话题，考虑一下你会怎么用英语描述这些百分比。

先看这三个大概5分水平的学生会写的句子，然后你可以自己尝试写写更合适的。

• At 21:00 TV reached a peak in UK.

• Radio started to decrease after 8.00

• Between 13:00 and 24:00 TV was higher than radio.

如果你这三句已经写好的话，那可以接下去看一下9分级别的。考虑一下跟你自己写的有没有大的区别。

5分：At 21:00 TV reached a peak in UK.9分：The percentage of people watching tv was at its highest at 9pm in the UK. / The number of people watching tv in the UK was at its highest point of the day at 9pm. / TV viewership reached a peak in the UK at 9pm.（你记得UK前面的那个the吗？)

5分：Radio started to decrease after 8.00.

9分：The percentage of people who were listening to the radio started to decrease after 8am. / The number of radio listeners began to go down after 8am. / After 8am the number of radio listeners started to drop.

5分：Between 13:00 and 24:00 TV was higher than radio.-

9分：Between 1pm and 12 midnight more people watched tv than listened to the radio. / There was a higher number of people watching tv than listening to the radio from 1pm to the end of the day. / TV viewers outnumbered radio listeners between 1pm and 12 midnight.

一个能保证你正确表达图表简称意思的最好方式是：在你开始写答案前，先在考卷上把所有你会需要用的词语“翻译”成合适的、语法正确的英语。比如，面对这个柱形图的学生可以这么做：

Train: the number of people who took the train to and from work / those who got to and from work by train

Car: those who drove to and from work / the percentage of people who commuted by car

Tube: the percentage of people who commuted by subway / those who took the tube

Bus: bus commuters / the number of workers who commuted by bus

然后在写答案时只要记得别直接用柱形图上的词，而用你刚刚已经准备好的那些表述就好了。写作5分级别的学生还有很多需要改进的地方。但在小作文，没有什么比学会正确地表达图表中词语的基本含义能带来更显著的进步了。

谢谢阅读！